No Sex Anymore?

What happens when older couples just sort of sign out of sex? Do they talk it over? Does it just happen? Do they both want to give it up? If it's just one, does he/she want to other to continue to engage in it somehow?


I don't know. So much of that is private; until it tumbles out by accident. Then you hear "oh, he'd never do that" or "my wife would never do that." She's usually talking about his talking about something or going to counseling or learning something sensual. He's usually talking about some form of non-vanilla or kinky sex.


It's hard not to wonder what the real story is. How do we get so far into our stories that we know what our partners wouldn't do?


Years ago I was talking with a couple of friends and the woman was complaining that the man ran everything and she was sick of it. I asked if they'd ever thought of taking a weekend or a week and having her run everything. He sat up in his chair and said 'I'd do that' and just a quickly she looked at me and said no. He shut up and so did I. What was he thinking? What was she thinking? What was I thinking?


I only have an inkling of what I was thinking and even that I don't remember that well. I just thought that doing something different might be fun. What he hoped would happen if she took charge remains his secret as does whatever image she had that made her say no so fast.