Frankly, when someone tells me that they want to save their marriage, I can't help but cringe and wish them good luck. Must be something about my own beliefs that probably would be good to work on, but the idea of "working on" a relationship is to the end of that relationship and the getting a house in the suburbs with a golden retriever is to having kids in some circles.
Maybe this comes from my male perspective. I don't know. Much of the talking and listening approach to such endeavors is a decidedly feminine undertaking.
Still, ending a marriage is nothing to be taken lightly. I don't care how many divorce attorneys are divorced and how many divorce service ads imply that if you just get through this, things will be so much better.
Once you get "through this", you are both who you were before you started, but you have a lot less money and a whole new set of problems to cope with.
Anyway, there must be a more productive way to look at saving your marriage than the one I have carried in my head and heart like a virus where it seems like a long, hard, slog that is ultimately doomed anyway. There are lots of good reasons to believe that it need not be that way.
There have been some really excellent efforts to spell out in usable terms how to save your marriage which I have been studying. And, I am impressed.
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