Infidelity Becoming NormalDoes that make it not cheating?

Infidelity is becoming so prevalent that it may be considered the norm, if not now, soon, some researchers say.

In a thought provoking blog post on infidelity, Genevieve Beaulieu-Pelletier, a PhD candidate at the Universite de Montreal’s Department of Psychology and author of a new study, is quoted as saying that

• studies suggest that the chances of a relationship suffering from infidelity are now somewhere between 40% and 76%
• such high numbers have implications for what is considered normal
• infidelity correlates strongly with an avoidant relationship personality style
• avoidant relationship style is most often a result of poor parenting

Whoa! If you care about committed relationship, sounds like you've got one foot on an impending betrayal mess and the other on a banana peel.

Of course, this is a researcher talking and all the caveats about research apply--

• we don't know how strong the observed correlations were (statistically significant and real are often two different things)
• we don't know if the respondents were telling the truth (we do know that males often exaggerate reports of sexual behavior of all sorts to researchers)
• we don't know who the respondents were
• if you've ever taken an abnormal psychology class, you know that defining normal is very difficult (just because "everyone" is doing it doesn't make it right)

It is, however, as noted earlier, food for thought. Is infidelity really cheating if we know going into a relationship that 40 - 76% of people undertaking this venture are going to experience infidelity to that relationship? Or, is it the norm, an expected part of a relationship? That seems to be the gist of the post.

I don't know.

If you bought a toaster that you knew delivered electric shocks to 40 - 76% of people who used it, would you have grounds for a lawsuit if you bought it figuring you would be one of the 24-60% who didn't get shocked? I mean, those other people who got shocked were probably careless, right? And it is a beautiful toaster for a very good price.

Well, that example didn't clear anything up for me. Afterall, when you're in love when have rules, probabilities, or anything else ever mattered? That's just part of the romance stage of relationship development.

For me, I think that our mothers had it right when they told us that just because "everyone" was jumping off a cliff, that didn't make it a good idea. However you frame it, whether you call it cheating or not, infidelity is very painful, destructive behavior.