The topic of power in relationships isn't a comfortable one for most people. Can you really have a conscious relationship if you aren't conscious of the power trade offs, the power plays, the power allocation, the power sharing in yours?
Do couples start behind the relationship 8-ball because there are two people in each?
What might couples learn if for one weekend, one week, one month, one year, one of them was the openly and agreed to be the dominant one the other submissive and then they reversed it?
Which role would be harder to really get into? Which do you think would be harder for you? . . . . for your partner? Which one do you think your partner would be harder for you? Which do you think would be harder for her or him to completely take on?
How do you envision yourself taking total or near total control of how things run with the two of you? . . . . and your partner? If you had visions of black leather and complete obedience, would you be able to admit it? If you had visions of Ozzie and Harriet, would you own up to that?
Would you really do it? Or, would you fudge? Would you be afraid of what might happen if you really were in charge? (Within previously agreed on limits of course.) What would it be like to be totally submissive?
If you saw an ad for a two part/two weekend workshop led by a licensed mental health professional, would you go? Would your partner? Do you wish they would? What do you think that you might learn about yourself? About your partner? What are you afraid you might learn? What do youl hope you'd learn?
Showing posts with label conscious relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conscious relationship. Show all posts
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
How To Attract Women
How to Attract Men
Courses, books, and programs on attracting men and on attracting women have been around for a long time.
Who do you think of when you think of someone buying and applying the lessons in one of these courses? Do you see someone who is desperate? . . . who is opportunistic? . . . a manipulator? . . . someone interested in personal growth? How old are they? What has their experience been in relationships to date? Have you ever been tempted by one of these offers?
Could this kind of thing be of use to you? Like so many things . . . that depends!
If you are in a relationship now, how about being more attractive to the one you're with? Novel idea? Let's hope not. The longer we are in a relationship, the more we change and move away from the younger people who started out, the more we need to have our eyes, ears, and hearts open to who and what is in front of us right now. It need never get boring.
If you think that improving on how you come across to other people in general and how attractive a potential partner you are doesn't pertain to you or that there's nothing that you can get out of it, you might give it some more thought.
Of course if all you seek is a few new tricks to get other people to do what you want, then it probably is a waste of time and money.
If you are looking for new ways to go about relating consciously to other people, genuinely, and in ways that feel good to you then you probably would be able to pick up a couple of ideas about how you might change ways that you habitually look at other people and yourself.
Putting attention on the process of how you relate to other people can bring big rewards. And, as we get older and have more and more unexamined habits and beliefs, doing something to shake things up a bit can be even more fruitful.
Who do you think of when you think of someone buying and applying the lessons in one of these courses? Do you see someone who is desperate? . . . who is opportunistic? . . . a manipulator? . . . someone interested in personal growth? How old are they? What has their experience been in relationships to date? Have you ever been tempted by one of these offers?
Could this kind of thing be of use to you? Like so many things . . . that depends!
If you are in a relationship now, how about being more attractive to the one you're with? Novel idea? Let's hope not. The longer we are in a relationship, the more we change and move away from the younger people who started out, the more we need to have our eyes, ears, and hearts open to who and what is in front of us right now. It need never get boring.
If you think that improving on how you come across to other people in general and how attractive a potential partner you are doesn't pertain to you or that there's nothing that you can get out of it, you might give it some more thought.
Of course if all you seek is a few new tricks to get other people to do what you want, then it probably is a waste of time and money.
If you are looking for new ways to go about relating consciously to other people, genuinely, and in ways that feel good to you then you probably would be able to pick up a couple of ideas about how you might change ways that you habitually look at other people and yourself.
Putting attention on the process of how you relate to other people can bring big rewards. And, as we get older and have more and more unexamined habits and beliefs, doing something to shake things up a bit can be even more fruitful.
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