Giving Up On Senior Relationships or Just Getting Started?

Sometimes when I hear friends and acquaintances talk about their spouses I get the feeling that they have given up and decided to ride it out.

In the words of somebody whose name I can't remember, "hold fast your dreams'. Because as someone once told me Vince Lombardi really said in his famous quote 'winning isn't everything, but doing what you have to to win is'.

So there you have it. One quote without an author and an author without a verified quote. Sorry.

Still, I for one like the ideas. Maybe we aren't supposed to be looking just at the scoreboard (as important as that is on this plane.) Maybe indeed the great scorekeeper in the sky keeps several. Who knows?

So, hang in there, go for it, and don't necessarily figure you're going to find the goal line in this game.

At least that what it looks like from here the deeper I get into reading, talking, and doing intimate relationship.

Love In The Time of Alzheimer's

NPR had a show this morning responding to the news report of Sandra Day O'Connor's husband having a relationship with a fellow patient in an Alzheimer's facility and her acceptance of that. The experts filled us in on the brain, aging, dementia and facilities and caregivers are doing. Pretty eye opening stuff.

They were talking about how the person with dementia may remember nothing of his or her past, including spouses and children, but be quite capable of forming and enjoying intimate relationships in their present situation. The parts of the brain that handle love aren't the same as the ones for memory. Hmmm. They say that these people live quite fully in the present moment.

Living in the present moment is a goal of many people and credited with bringing great clarity and peace to those who achieve it. Does it follow that if I meditate long enough and gain present moment awareness, I may forget my spouse and children and enter into whatever relationship brings me joy in the present? Or is that reserved for dementia? Is it black and white? Or, is there a gray zone?

Just wondering.