Is There Really A Senior Sexual Revolution?

There was a piece on Youtube recently where the description said something about the sexual revolution not happening in the high schools, but with senior citizens in the retirement homes. You can see that and related comments Here.

Now, admittedly we are hearing more and more about retirement facilities of all types finally getting the point that we are adults and that sexuality is part of adult life.

That there may be an institutional sexual revolution for seniors makes sense, but a revolution for the people themselves? I am not so sure about that one.

Until someone figures out how to remove effects of our society getting more open about sexuality from the observations I will be willing to bet that what people are doing is not a heck of a lot different from what it has been for some time. What people are saying they are doing is another thing all together and I suspect that that is just now coming closer in line with actions and that the revolution is in what we're willing to talk about.

He Says/She Says . . .About Why No Sex

From surveying 4,000 people, Bob Berkowitz and Susan Yager-Berkowitz came up with the following perceived reasons women gave for why they think their husbands had stopped having sex with them.


Top 10 Reasons Women Think Their Husbands Stop Having Sex

I don't know why.

He's depressed.

He's angry at me.

He's too tired.

He no longer finds me physically attractive.

He suffers from erectile dysfunction.

I'm depressed.

He's bored.

I have gained a significant amount of weight.

He prefers to watch pornography online.

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Now let's see what the husbands had to say about this.



Top 10 Reasons Why Men Say They Stop Having Sex


She isn't sexually adventurous enough.

She doesn't seem to enjoy sex.

I'm angry at her.

I'm interested in sex with others, but not with her.

I'm bored.

She's depressed.

She has gained a significant amount of weight.

I'm depressed.

I know longer find her physically attractive.

10. I suffer from erectile dysfunction.





These responses came from "He's Just Not Up for It Anymore. Why Men Stop Having Sex. And What You Can Do About It," By Bob Berkowitz, Ph.D. and Susan Yager-Berkowitz, M.A. (Harper Collins/William Morrow, December, 2007) Based on an online survey of over 4,000 people.

You can check out Bob and Susan's website at www.bobandsusanberkowitz.com

If There Is No Sex, Is It an Affair? Is It Infidelity?

When it comes to relationships is "No Sex - No Infidelity" the equivalent of the sports saying "No Harm - No Foul"?

In an interview in the December 2007 issue of the Harvard Business Review, John Gottman, PhD, says no. The most important things that lead to harm from relationships outside the primary relationship is more about friendship, feeling appreciated, feeling listened to, feeling valued than about sex.

He made a powerful case for this point of view. What he didn't do was really give, me at least, much of an idea of what to do to keep it from happening and wrecking your relationship.

It was clear that if you can't both go to the party, then the two of you had better do some pre-planning an have a non-defense treaty about how you'll talk about it after.
While not saying it explicitly, Dr. Gottman was clearly calling for some attention to the relationship before the inevitable unexected comes along.

Find some general discussions and advice at www.Better-Relationships-Over-50.com.