Emotional Intelligence and Relationships

In his book The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work, John Gottman, PhD, says that if you had to boil it down to just one thing that makes marriage work it would have to be emotional intelligence.

And, emotional intelligence roughly defined is simply being aware of what we ourselves are feeling in a given situation, making a reasonably accurate guess about what others in the situation are probably feeling, and taking the two into account before moving forward. (There are whole books on the topic. Forgive me if I narrowed it down too far.)

Notice how much easier this is to do with people about whom you know a great deal, hence the usefulness of things like Michael Webb's 1,000 Questions For Couples which give those of us with a bit of hesitancy enough structure to get into the thing without strangling us.