Once two people have decided to divorce, a great legal and social machine starts moving. The process has been described as taking on a life of its own.
With every step forward in the process, the chance of learning something, understanding something, feeling something that will ultimately lead to reconciliation and building a new relationship out of the ashes becomes less likely. The legal system is part of this, but so is our own psychology, especially our tendency to rationalize our decisions as good once we've made them.
It is worth the time and effort to make a sane and informed decision on what seems, to me at least, to be an insane topic. It impacts not only whether, but how the divorce will happen.
And, a recent discussion with an experienced psychologist who works with couples brought up a strong opinion on her part that two or three sessions probably won't be enough to get to that clean decision, but that two years is too long too. Also, she noted that it is important to be sure that everyone involved understands what is going on and the aim of making a good decision is accepted as the goal of the effort.
Sounds logical. I wonder how many of us who have been divorced followed that course (my bet is not many) and how many of us in retrospect wish we had (my bet is a lot.)
There is some very limited further discussion of this topic HERE.
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