Save Your Marriage

How do you save your marriage? Exactly, what would one do to save his or her marriage?

I am serious about asking the question. Saving a marriage is a term that I have heard for years and I have always thought that I knew what it meant. It's just that upon thinking about it, I realized that I pretty much haven't got a clue what that means.

I guess it's like saving an old, historic building from the wrecking ball. Keeping the marriage intact. But, does that mean legally? Does that mean emotionally? Does that mean physically?

Anyway, a marriage is a dynamic entity. Something that comes into being when two individuals interact. Individuals who are continually aging, learning, forgetting, making mistakes, doing great things, etc. etc.

An historic building just sits there. Maybe it gets new windows, safer wiring, new elevators, but if it didn't stay relatively static, why wouldn't we just build a new one?

When it comes to marriages, relationships, I think that the White Queen had it right when she explained to Alice in the Alice in Wonderland story that she was always running because if she stopped, she would go backwards.

Is it possible that "saving a marriage" is so hard because it implies stopping and stopping is actually going backwards?

Of course, there is something comforting in saving something in that we know what we're saving and in moving forward we can't know what will happen.

Relationships grow in cycles of a series of steps, (a description of which can be found by clicking HERE .) With each step we build on the old, but we never know for sure what the new will bring until we step into it.