Senior Sex - Fetishes: do they age well?

Fetishes have always held a special interest for me for several reasons.

They can be so darned powerful, simple, and fast acting. Getting to know someone and developing a relationship that is exciting and attracting takes awhile and it takes some close contact. A pair of shiny black boots, or the right hair style or clothing can do the job from clear across the room. Why is that? And, can we use that in some positive way(s) as we get older and our physical machinery changes?

They tend to be more prevalent and stronger in males than in females. Can we admit and use that reality, or is it just a problem? They aren't inherently flattering even to those who are wearing or possess the physical trait that attracts attention. Consider, "Wow!! The color of your eyes really turns me on." How likely is the response to be "Oh, thank you. You have looked into the depths of my soul and found the real me?" Fat chance.

What is is, but that often does not help us cope with realities that we don't want to like. How effective are we at loving what is? Well, it must be hard enough to do (no matter how effective it is) that someone could make a whole career out of the topic - - - see Byron Katie's "The Work" as described in her book Loving What Is

Is it an affront to ask a lover to wear certain clothes or talk a certain way or affect certain postures, take on certain roles . . . just because it turns us on?

Senior FLR's?

Can't help but wonder how many senior couples actually have a female led relationship, (FLR). There are a few blogs on the topic that are reasonably well written (better than this one, but that isn't too hard).

There is a logic to it happening. The empty nest brings relationship strains that were easier to sweep under the rug or work around when there were kids to care for and transport are brought out into the open, and it brings freedom to work out your own solutions.

For some people (I have no idea how many) that seems to be for the partner with the more natural focus on relationships to just take it over, to be the officer-in-charge of the interactions between the two.

And, for some guys (again, how many I have no idea) there is a sexual turn-on in being subordinate to a woman. So far, a win-win, but don't forget the male's greater tendency toward fetish. How far into the "side-show", "comic book-like" world of femdom are most women likely to be willing to go, even in the context of building a better relationship? (Again, I have no idea.)

Interesting idea? There is a general discussion of power in relationships here.

A Relationship Is A Relationship Is A Relationship

Every so often I hear someone say that they don't have relationship problems because they are in a special kind of relationship from religiously based, to philosophically based, to sexually fetish based. There's something that doesn't seem right about that.

I am glad that these people are happy with their relationships, but I think that they are either selling themselves and their partners short or they are denying the problems that exist. I suspect that there are some in each description.

When two people can successfully stay in a close relationship over an extended period of time and they describe it as a positive one, it seems to me that they must be doing something right even if they don't know what. And, I'm not completely convinced that a little denial is all bad either.

(How much denial is too much? I don't know. Other than the smart aleck response "more than I do", I just don't know.)