Affairs and Airplane Crashes

Affairs are deadly things when it comes to relationships. And that goes for ones that are happening now and the ones that were over last week and the ones that were over 10 or 20 years ago.

A quick look at the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists' website on the topic contains references to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) type reactions, especially from the partner who was left for another and especially if they were taken by surpise and didn't know it was happening.

But once it's upon you, what do you do then? Eh?

Everything is off kilter. Most of us in such a situation wouldn't be completely clear which way was up and which down. And those of us who thought we did, would very likely be wrong. Not unlike an airplane pilot who gets disoriented.

For airplanes and relationships the response is pretty much the same. In the airplane they teach you to put your attention on the instruments, level the wings, and put the nose on the horizon. Forget about everything else until that is in order.

Of course if somehow you've been in a power dive pointing straight at the ground and you have had enough altitude and skill to get the wings level and the airplane in level flight, neither climbing or descending, nothing else seems very important for quite a while.

Same with the relationship under intense pressure. Back to basics and let the details be taken care of in their own time. Deep breath. Feet on the ground. Get yourself back in touch with what you believe. Work through what you feel, Act in integrity with that. Fly straight and level for a while before you set about doing anything. Just be there. With yourself. With your partner.

Avoid anyone or anything that is telling you that you just have to to anything else. You'll know what you want to do in time. And it will be right, . . . for you. Take care of you.

For some excellent advice and/or support in this area, check out Dr. Robert Huizenga's stuff by clicking here.

Keep a light hand on the controls until things are settled down enough that you can make decisions from a place of knowing and strength.