Sex After Prostate Surgery

It looks to me as though the standard advice about sex after prostate surgery is that you have to talk about it with your partner. I think that I've said that myself so I really can't argue with it nor do I want to, but I do think that it is more than a bit simplistic.


Without knowing the exact numbers, it seems safe to guess that the majority of men who have prostate surgery are over 50. If this is true, then it means that those of us who have undergone this surgery have a pretty well developed set of patterns, habits, and beliefs related to how we participate in and enjoy sex. If you want to read that as being in a rut, feel free.


After prostate surgery, if there is any change in ability to attain and/or maintain an erection, the whole balance of the experience is thrown off. Relationships within our minds, emotions, and bodies that have been setting up going all the way back to solitary sexual explorations of youth are going to be disrupted.


Now, back to the comment about being in a rut. While it can be that changes can open our eyes and our hearts to things that we would have missed otherwise, it doesn't necessarily come easy. We're talking about old friends here. Habits and sensations that have been with us for much of our lives.


There's likely to be a process of letting go of the old ways that no longer work, mourning if you prefer, before the new can be embraced. And this calls for some consciousness and acceptance within onesself to go along with talking with a partner.


If you have some mindfulness practice in place this can be a lot easier. If you don't and are finding accepting what is and moving forward a challenge, then it may be a great time to adopt one.