Power in Relationships

How we allocate the power in our relationships is one of the central factors in how well those relationships work.

The power to decide what we'll do, how we'll do it, and who will do it, can be parcelled out in an almost infinite number of ways, but couples who get along and prosper generally feel good about how they do it.

Now, this is not to say that any particular mix works best. No, totally egalitarian/shared relationships, traditional male head of family, or any other particular style does not win out. What does is having they participants comfortable with the way they do it.

So, especially in this time of so many changes with retirements, grandchildren, etc, we need to reconsider this from time to time.

When you decide it's time to do this a structured approach can keep you focus on the issues and off the people. The best one I have come across can be found HERE.

Advice on Relationships

Advice for relationships is everywhere. When it comes to being in a relationship, advice (wanted or unwanted) seems to come with the territory.

Turn on the TV, pick up a magazine, listen to the radio, read a book, talk to family or friends and for anyone willing to listen, there is free relationship advice.

Not only that, if you don't end up with more different "right things" to do than advice givers, you're lucky.

Fortunately, we all come with a built-in advice evaluation meter that is always turned on. It is simply how close and safe we feel with our partner.

Imagine what your life would feel like if you followed a particular piece of advice. Would you feel warmer toward your partner? More comfortable about being with them? If the answer is yes, then it is likely to be good advice for you. If not, be careful about putting it into practice, no matter who told you it was the right thing.

In general, it is safer to look for tools with which you can craft your own solutions than to seek or follow advice.