Putting Off Retirement?

AARP has sent out an article about people deciding that they are not going to retire as soon as they thought and that many who have retired are looking for work. What's the deal and how does it affect relationships?


The "deal" is that lots of us simply don't have enough money to stop working -- or, we feel as though we don't. With the values of housing and the stock market going down and the prices of things the government doesn't count in inflation like food and gasoline going up, our general mood about our prospects isn't so hot for quite understandable reasons. At this point in a financial cycle, it isn't easy to see any silver linings.


On the other hand, I suppose that in many cases it helps relationships in the short run. It is no secret that the first couple of years of not filling most of your waking hours with work can put stresses on relationships. Eventually people seem to find new ways to fit together, but for a while it can be a bit rough.


Of course this represents a real opportunity to do something better and is a great chance for a more conscious relationship; if we'll take up the challenge.


But, what about just working longer? Probably that isn't unlike have the foresight and self-discipline necessary to put aside enough money that we can retire. The negatives are in the short term and the positives are in the long term and most of us respond to what we are experiencing right now.


Can we do better with money? with relationships?


It probably depends on how well we learned to defer gratification or on how we learned to define gratification a long long time ago. Or, maybe we can make some mid-course corrections. Who knows? Is this finally a strong enough reason for us to engage in a regular mindfulness practice ?

Retirement Is A New Deal For Relationships

One or both of you is home more now. That's great! Or is it?

Busy people can find lots of good reasons, lots of good ways, to never get around to dealing with things that bother them. Jobs, kids, maintenance. There hasn't been enough time for so long.

And, even though I read somewhere that in a recent poll over 70% of men between the ages of 28 to 40 said they would take a pay cut to have more time with their families, they don't have the time at those ages.

The chickens come home to roost sooner or later.

If it's sooner, somebody just walks out the door. In this age of no-fault divorce, that's pretty simple to do.

If it's later, it rears it's head with retirement or slowing down of one or both partners.

Don't be surprised. Don't be ashamed. It happens. .. . . . A lot.

Be ready. Take it as a new phase of your ongoing relationship cycle and wonder what new experiences lie ahead this time around the circle.