No Sex Anymore?

What happens when older couples just sort of sign out of sex? Do they talk it over? Does it just happen? Do they both want to give it up? If it's just one, does he/she want to other to continue to engage in it somehow?


I don't know. So much of that is private; until it tumbles out by accident. Then you hear "oh, he'd never do that" or "my wife would never do that." She's usually talking about his talking about something or going to counseling or learning something sensual. He's usually talking about some form of non-vanilla or kinky sex.


It's hard not to wonder what the real story is. How do we get so far into our stories that we know what our partners wouldn't do?


Years ago I was talking with a couple of friends and the woman was complaining that the man ran everything and she was sick of it. I asked if they'd ever thought of taking a weekend or a week and having her run everything. He sat up in his chair and said 'I'd do that' and just a quickly she looked at me and said no. He shut up and so did I. What was he thinking? What was she thinking? What was I thinking?


I only have an inkling of what I was thinking and even that I don't remember that well. I just thought that doing something different might be fun. What he hoped would happen if she took charge remains his secret as does whatever image she had that made her say no so fast.

Senior FLR's?

Can't help but wonder how many senior couples actually have a female led relationship, (FLR). There are a few blogs on the topic that are reasonably well written (better than this one, but that isn't too hard).

There is a logic to it happening. The empty nest brings relationship strains that were easier to sweep under the rug or work around when there were kids to care for and transport are brought out into the open, and it brings freedom to work out your own solutions.

For some people (I have no idea how many) that seems to be for the partner with the more natural focus on relationships to just take it over, to be the officer-in-charge of the interactions between the two.

And, for some guys (again, how many I have no idea) there is a sexual turn-on in being subordinate to a woman. So far, a win-win, but don't forget the male's greater tendency toward fetish. How far into the "side-show", "comic book-like" world of femdom are most women likely to be willing to go, even in the context of building a better relationship? (Again, I have no idea.)

Interesting idea? There is a general discussion of power in relationships here.