Are There Any Good Reasons for Affairs?

There definitely are reasons for affairs, and depending on who is talking they may even be good reasons, but they are never more than that: reasons.


OK, we've gone outside the relationship to fulfill wants/needs (again a perspective thing which word you choose) and we have reasons that we did it. We still have put our primary relationship at mortal risk and we haven't done anything to move ourselves forward.


Professionals who specialize in affairs and their aftermath have plenty to say about reasons. You can get a good view of that by clicking here.


I find it rather chilling to read from a professional's eye-view of what kinds of traits and weaknesses I might be displaying by using a particular reason for infidelity.


Of course they care about this stuff because my reasons tell them about my inner short circuits and crossed wires and give them a way to help me get it back together and not do it again.


Still, those reasons sound so real and so good to me. I guess that sometimes when we're drowning it's hard to recognize the life ring when it is thrown right to us.


Reasons. Hmmm!




Oh yeah, I almost forgot. The reasons for affairs someone gives can often help us remember who's the crazy one when we are in the middle of a big mess and aren't sure how we got there and are even thinking maybe it was our fault. Which is why it's a good idea for anyone to read up on the topic to read. One good source is right here.

He Says/She Says . . .About Why No Sex

From surveying 4,000 people, Bob Berkowitz and Susan Yager-Berkowitz came up with the following perceived reasons women gave for why they think their husbands had stopped having sex with them.


Top 10 Reasons Women Think Their Husbands Stop Having Sex

I don't know why.

He's depressed.

He's angry at me.

He's too tired.

He no longer finds me physically attractive.

He suffers from erectile dysfunction.

I'm depressed.

He's bored.

I have gained a significant amount of weight.

He prefers to watch pornography online.

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Now let's see what the husbands had to say about this.



Top 10 Reasons Why Men Say They Stop Having Sex


She isn't sexually adventurous enough.

She doesn't seem to enjoy sex.

I'm angry at her.

I'm interested in sex with others, but not with her.

I'm bored.

She's depressed.

She has gained a significant amount of weight.

I'm depressed.

I know longer find her physically attractive.

10. I suffer from erectile dysfunction.





These responses came from "He's Just Not Up for It Anymore. Why Men Stop Having Sex. And What You Can Do About It," By Bob Berkowitz, Ph.D. and Susan Yager-Berkowitz, M.A. (Harper Collins/William Morrow, December, 2007) Based on an online survey of over 4,000 people.

You can check out Bob and Susan's website at www.bobandsusanberkowitz.com